Show me your hardware!

Boy : Can i Touch your Software?
Girl : First show me your Hardware!
Boy : Should i install it in your System?
Girl: Cover it with Anti Virus & then install.

No Smoking

Sales girl: sory sir u cant smoke here

Customer: but i bought cigrete 4rm ur shop

sales girl: we sel condom also,but it doesn’t mean u start fucking us here.

Girl & Glasses

Teacher student se:

‘larki aur ainak mein kya cheez mushtrik hai….?

Student:

‘Sir, istamaal k waqt dono ki taangein kholni prhti hain..

Invented a new bra

A scientist has invented a new bra
which stops boobs from bouncing while running
&
doesn’t show nipples when wet.

DON’T PANIC
WE’VE KILLED THAT BASTARD

Police & Army

Police wala or fauji ek saath train me safar kr rahe thy.

Police: Ap chutti pe ja rahe he?

Fauji: Han wife ki delivry he.
Police: Kitne din baad ghr ja rahe ho?
Fauji: 2 saal baad.
Police: Phr to hone wala bacha harami hoga
Fauji: Mjhe konsa ghr rkhna hai police me bharti kr doon ga…

Twins

Do u Remember when we were on the train and i got my ass out of the window and you got your face out of the window too and the people said “LOOK..!! TWINS”

Lost panty

A Lady lost here panty in the home
She blamd Nukrani in front of her husband

Nukrani replied: Sahab G apko to pata hai main nichay kuch nai pehnti.

Do the Dew

ChAndA
Mou KhoLo
ThorA Or
Or
ThorA sA Or
Bus!
__
( ".)
< )_, - - .(." )
  LL          (  >
           DO THE DEW.

Nargis to Doctor

Nargis 2 doctor:My Hole Is 2 Big
DR Looks In Hole Says My Goodness,Goodness,Goodness.
Nargis:Y R U Repeting Words?
DR:Repeat Nahi kar raha,Awaz Goonj rahi ha ;-

Good Fucker

For years he thought
He was a Damn Good Fucker

But then

He found out

His wife actually had asthma

Shalwaari Saanp

‘Shalwaari-Saanp’
“Dunia ka 1 Khatarnak Saanp hy jis ka
-Rang White/brown/ black
-Aam lambai 4″ to 8″
-Jism Narm/Hard
-Temperature Garam
-Aam tor pr bed Rooms me ladies ki tangon k beech me kaat leta hy
-is ka zeher 9 maah tk pait ko suja deta hy
-iski Peshawari qism mardon ko b kaat’ti pakri gai hy

Mehboob Mere Remix

Mehboob Mere
Mehboob Mere
Teri Masti me
Muje Jeene day
Boht Doodh
( . ) ( . )  hai
  )   .  ( tere
(    ¥   )
seenay me
Muje Daba-Daba
Ke pene de..

After 6 Months

Three housewives were walking in a park.
They saw a dog fucking a bitch really hard there.

Doctor’s Wife: So sweet, now they will have cute puppies.

Lawyer’s Wife: No, this is a pure attempt of rape, and dog should b hanged.

Major’s Wife: Lagta hai k Kutta 6 maah baad ghar aya hai…

Man is Terrorist

For a woman every man is terrorist. 1st he attacks her twin towers: then destroys her pentagon and then puts missile in her bunker+ 2 grenades at the gat.

Your Friends

Man came home,
Saw his Wife with his Friend in Bed.
He shoots his Friend.
Wife says, if you behave like this,

You will lose all your friends

Types of Sex

Teacher to student: There is two type of sex on earth, male and female.
A student: Teacher I know few more.
Teacher: What?
Student: Bedroom sex, bathroom sex and online sex….

3 Males

Doctor to Lady: You r looking so weak and exhausted!
Are you properly taking 3 meals a day as I had advised?

Lady: Oh my God! I heard 3 males per day!

Evening Tea!!!

Girl:Agar meri left leg Lunch ho aur right wali Dinner tou tum kya pasand kroge?
BOY:Main Lunch aur Dinner k beech shaam ki chaaay peena pasand krunga:-

300 Rupees Only

Shadi ki phli raat Shoher Apni BV ko Rs.500 de kr bola
Hum ne ye kaam kabhi Free me kiya he nahi

BV 200 wapas kar ke boli
Hum ne 300 se zada kabi liye he nahi.

Sexy Khawab

SUHAG RAAT

3:17am: Start kiss

3:21-open Nighty

3:24-Open Brazr

3:27-Open panty

3:31-Press Boobs

3:39am: ?

?

“EHTILAM”

KHUWAB THA (tharkiyo)

Biwi Ka Rate!

10 lakh Shadi ka or 15000 monthly kharcha ho tou

1st 5 yrs main weekly 3 time
Next 5 yrs weekly 2 time
Next 10 yrs once a week “karen” to apko apki BV 2527 Rs/Nite main pary ge.

A pubiic service msg from ,
Accounting&Finance students..
Invest at ur own risk:)

What is a girlfriend?

What is a girlfriend?

Russian:A cigrate when finished drop it

Irish:A bottle of Wine when empty break it

Pthan: An Audio Cassette when side A is finished use side B…

Pura Dahi

Husband Wife ko Talaq k Baad

Hussband: Bacha Mera hai…
Wife: Wah jee Wah !
Bartan Mera..
Doodh Meera
Thorri c Milai kia daal di..
Poora Dahi Tera….

Sign Board

” A Famous Sign Board Outside a Prostitutes House

Married Men are Not Allowed….
.
.
We Serve Needy Not the Greedy

Big Pussy

Ek boy apni girl friend ko kiss karaha tha aur aik hath se choot main ungli karaha tha
Girl: Janu tmhari ring mujhe chub rahi hai usy utar do
Boy: Darling woh ring nahi meri wacth hai…

Sleeping Pills

Doctor: Aapke Husband ko Aaram ki Zarorat Hai.

.

Ye Neend ki Goliyaan Le Jayen.

.

Wife: Ye Main Inhain Kiss Waqt Don?

.

Doctor: Jab Main Aaon.

Luck & Fuck

Luck and Fuck are Directly Proportional to each Other.
.
When Luck favors, You can Fuck the Whole World.
.
But
.
When Luck Fails, The Whole world begins to Fuck you!!!

Baap ka Ghar

Husbnd in susral
teling 2 wife:
ao sex karen
wife: Nahi ye mery
baap ka ghar hy
sharm ati hy mujy,
Husbnd:mery baap
ka ghar koi chakla hai
jo roz tyar hoti
ho..

Doggy Style

Ek aurat ne 6 bachon ko ek sath janam diya.
Woh bed se utri aur apne husband ko ek thapar mar k kehnay lagi
Mene kaha tha na kutay wala style thek nahi…!!!!

Night Clubs

Friend 1: Why do u take your wife only to night clubs?
Friend 2: Buddy by the time she gets ready no other place is open!

Vibrator

Woman to doctor “a vibrator is stuck in my pussy”
Doctor “lay down, I will take it out”
Woman “NO!, pls. change its battery”

Doggy Style

A lady gave birth to four babies after on seeing this, she goes out off her hospital bed
&
Slapped her husband & shouted, “I told you not to try doggy style”

Sufi Banaspati

“SUFI BANASPATI
JO NAAM HAI
AITMAAD KA”
Hina ko cooking ka shoq hua,
Mama le aai “SUFI”
Sufi pe aitmaad jo tha,
Subah uthi to na Hina thi na SUFI
After 3 years
Waapas aai to sath
HABIB.,
or
SULTAN b thy…!
“Hy Na SUFI ka kamal”
jo naam hy etmaad ka.

Khusron ka Shehar

Kya poochty ho haal mery karobaar ka,

Condom bechta hun khusron k shehar mein..!!

Kis ka Bacha?

1 Kunwari Larki Ko Bacha Ho Giya.
Uss Ke Baap Ne Poocha Ke Yeh Kiss Ka Bacha Hai?
Larki: Papa Missed Call to sb Hi Marte The, Pata nai Kis ki recive hogai?

Sardar & Condom

Srdarni after sex:Kaha tha condom ki jaga rumal mt use karo
Ab rumal andr re gya na
Srdr:oye Positive thnking rakh
Bacha pagri pehn k ayega. . .

Ladies Milk

Ladies milk ke five ( Advantages )
(1) garm nahin kiya ja sakta.
(2) bile nahin p sakti.
(3) har umar k mard ki pasand.
(4) khubsurat paking main.
(5) eik k sath dosra free….?

Adult Poem

Hum ne Jurrat jo dikhayi to bora man gyi
Hadd hr ek mitayi to bora man gyi
Khod hi kehti koi talluq na rakho
Dosri bachi phansayi to bora man gyi
Khod hi boli muje chho k mujhe sona krdo
Hum ne chhati jo dabayi to bora man gyi
Hum se kehti thi k pasand lollypop hen
Hum ne lulli jo dikhayi to bora man gyi
Uski lene k liye uski bajane k liye
Hum ne khatya jo bichhayi to bora man gyi
Us ne pocha k kali phool kese banti hey Faraz
Hum ne kr d ch**dayi to bora man gyi

Adult Ghazal

Agar men hadd se barh jaon, muje maaf krdena
Tere opar men charh jaon, muje maaf krdena
Yunhi Jhatkey se daal dena tow meri aadat hey
Kabhi esa jo kar jaaon, muje maaf krdena
Raste men tuje dekh k teri lene ki khatir
Tuje ley k ghar jaaon, muje maaf krdena
Tere periods hun or meri khwari barh jaye
Men teri saheli pe charh jao, muje maaf krdena

Sexy Installation

Boy: Kia may ap ka software dekh sakta hoo? Girl: Ok lekin Pehlay mujhay apna hardware to dikao! Boy: (Dikhatey huway) Girl: oh ap ka processor to Intel P4 hay! Boy: thanks… Ab may isay install kar loo? Girl: Haa magar meri software zara nazuk hay. Apnay hardware ko anti virus cover laga kar aaram say install karo. Lekin time kitna lageyga? Boy: installation to 5 minute may hojayegi lekin folder 9 mahiney me khuley ga.

Haath Mein Dena Tha

Girl Salad banate hoe Nokrani se:
1 lamba sa kheera dena
Ouch. . . . Aaahh . . . .Uffff . .
Mar gai.
.
Ullu ki patthi Haath me dene ko kaha tha

Condoms

Teacher:
Why Love Is Better Than War…?
Student: Because Condoms Are AviLabLe In Cheaper Rates Than Weapons…

Vegetarian

Why are pure Vegetarian Women silent during SEX…..?
They are in state of shock that a Piece of Meat can give so much pleasure….

Family Planning

I saw a sighn in the hospital the other day that read.
*Family planning – Use Rear Entrance*
Good advice I thought….?

Chacha!

Chalti bus mein jaga na milne per 1 Larki ko Baba ne Goad mein bitha lia
Thori dair k baad Larki uth khari huwi or boli
“Chacha!
Ya ainu bitha.
ya Mainu bitha”

A.T.M

Baar men larki dance ker rahi thi ek angrez utha larki ki chaddi men 200$ phansa diye.
Phir 1 angrez aur gaya usne 100$ phansa diye.
Thori der bad 1 pakistani gaya usne apna A.T.M CARD larki ki chooth pe phera or 300$ le ker bhaag gaya.’
Pakistan zindabad.

Ladki Ki Adatein

Larkion Ki Adatein Aaj Tak Samaj Nai Ayi . . . .
FARAZ”
” Kuch Keh do To Mu Phula Leti Hain
Aur Kuch Kardo To
?
?
Pait Phula Leti Hai.

LORA

TOYOTA company ne new car lounch ki hai jiska name hai “LORA”

Ameer gharon ki larkian pareshan hain kyu k unko kehna parta hai

Driver LORA Nikalo. .

Sexy Story

1 LRKA 1 LRKI Ko KhaLi Ghar m Le Kr Jata hai
Lrki Boht Sexy Hoti h
Lrki N Nite Dres Pehna Hota Hai
Js M Hr Chez Nzr Aa rhi Hoti H
Lrki Bistr P Late Jati Hai
Lrka Us K Pass Ata Hai. . . .
Aur
Aur
To be continue…
Load Rs.50 In My Number & Enjoy The NEXT EPISODE.

Sabse Peeche

SiNDHi: Hum TaaLeem mein peeche hain,
PUNJABi: Hum jobs mein peeche hain,
BALOCHi: Hum FashioN mein peeche hai,
!
!
PATHAN: Hum JaaN Boojh k peeche hain:

Leg Piece

Hotel mn 1couple dinner kr rha thaWife ne leg piece                                                                        utha k husbnd ko dia                                                                                                                            Pas betha baba bola: hi rabba aj sadi v zanani hundi ‘Sanu v lattan chuk chuk k dendi.

Beizzati

Super Hit Beizzati!

Bv: “Agar Tumhare pas zindgi k 30 min bache hon to kya karoge?

Husband:”of course darling sex kronga”

Bv:”Baqi k 29 minutes kya kro gay?

Apple Juice

Boy & girl in bus

Boy: Miss ap k apple muj se touch ho rhe hy

Girl apple mre hy,apko kia taqlif ha

Boy: apple to apky hy lekin juice mra nikal rha hy….!!

7up!

7 Nangay Larkay Apna Apna Khara ker k Road Pe Kharay Thy

1 Aurat Ne Pocha:

Are You Advertising For Condoms?

Larkay:Nahi Madam Ye

7.UP” ka Add Hy.

Brazier

Dr:Zor se saans lain

Lambi saans

or lambi.

Achank awaz ia

“katak”

Dr:lagta hai Aap ki pasli toot gai hai

Girl:

kminay

mera brazier phat gya hai…….!

Atif Aslam Pehli Nazar Remix

Atif Aslam’s sexy Remix

Pehli Nazar Mei Kaisa Gando Kr Dia

Tera Lun Betha Hai Mera Khara

Jane Kya Hoga Kya Hoga Kya Pta

Is Lun Ko Le Le Aa Le Le Zara

Lun Hai Khara

9 Inch Bara

Meri Jholi Pe Aa Jhool Ja

O Jan e jan

le lo zra

mri jholi pe aa jhul ja aa

Baby I fucK U

Baby I fuck u so more

Baby i fuck U.

Merry Marlow

Pathan ne train me ANGREZ larki ka rape kr dya

Judge:Tumne is k sth galat kam Q kya?

Pathan:Mene naam pocha tha

Usne kha:

“Merry Marlow”

bus mai ne maardi.

Anyone

Old man married a young girl!

On wedding night he showed 5 fingers to her.

Girl said! ohh darling 5 times?

Old man replied!

No dear choose any one!

Wazarat-e-Sehat

Girl 2 Boy frnd: Batao larkian Braizer Q phanti hain?

Boy: ta k Breast ziada bubling na karen.

Girl: No! Khula doodh Sehat k liye Muzir hai.

(wazarat-e-sehat)

Totla

1 totla texi driver 3 girls ko le k ja rha tha.

Policeman: lrkiyon ko le k kahan ja rhe ho?

Totla: chodne!

Policeman: kya bkwas ki?

Totla: o g 1 ko park m chodna he or 1 ko agle stop pe chodna he.

Itne m tesri larki cheekhti he

kya bkwas kr rhe ho?

Totla: tm khamosh rho wrna tmhe yaheen chod don ga.

Josh

Larki injection Lagwatay huey: zara aahista dard ho raha hai

DISPENSER: jub Rape hua to dard nahi hua?

Larki: us time

.

.

.

hosh may nahi JOSH may thi..!

Night Rate

Chemistry ki class mein teacher ne ek larki se pucha What is “Nitrate” ? Ladki sharma kr boli:- Sir, Night rate 1500/- aur Hotel charges alag se

Beautiful Child

Teacher: Prove that

ab/ag+2mp+4wd+9mc=abc ?

Boy:

“A boy over a girl + 2minute pain + 4white drops + 9 months course = a beautiful child..!-)!.

Dard Hota Hai

Lady Teachr: Zero mein 1 Dalain to kia hota hai?

Girl: chup rahi!

Teachr

Ghusse se:

Jawab do

Zero me 1 Dalian to kia hota hai?

Girl: Boht Dard hota hai..

Pathan & Condom

PAThAN: IMportd CoNdoM hY..

DukAndAr: SiZE bAtAo..

PAthAn: SizE to mALooM nAhi..

DukAndAr: sAmNe kAmrE mE TAbLe mE HoLE hAi, us mai LuN daAl kr SizE CHecK kAr k aAo..

PAthAn wApAs ayA to DukAndAr nE poochA kon sa size DooN..

PAthAn: CoNdoM k0 GoLi mAr0 TAbLE kitnEy ka Hy..

Dentist Naughty Joke

Dentist was removing a tooth of a lady:

Dentist:

“Madam U r holding my balls !”

Lady:

“I know, its just to remind U that we r not going to hurt each other “

Brazier & Underwear

BOY:

main pyar ki onchai or ishq ki gehrai ko dekhna or chuna chahta hon.

.

.

.

.

GIRL:

seedhi trha q nai kehte k undrwear or braizer utaar du !!!

After 5 Months

Father: Tm meri beti se kab se pyar krte ho..?

Boy: 4 mahine se..

Fathar: Mai kaise yaqen kr loon..?

Boy: 5 mahine baad khud hi yaqen aa jaega.

Can I Kiss You?

Pathan sitting on the Bench with girlfriend

Pathan said: Can i kiss u?

Girl said:NO my lipstick will remove

Pathan:Can i touch ur nipple?

Girl:No,my shirt will become wet.

Pathan: can i fuck u?

Girl:No their are my menses period.

Pathan:Lalay ki jan!

ab ye mat kehna k motion b lagay howy hain.

Clean Shave

Aik Sardar ne Sikhni Ka Rape kia, She Said ” Hunn Main Raula

Paawangi”

Sardar Says” Raula teh Hunn Main paawan ga

Utton Sikhni tay Thaloo clean Shave.

Cycle Mechanic

Cycle k mistri ne suhag rat ko apni bivi ko pani waley tub mai litaya.

Bivi: Ye kia kar rahe ho?

Mistri: Mujhe to pani mai e pata chalta hai k surakh kahan hy!

Chabi Wala Teeka

Aorat Lady Doctor se Doctor sahaba muje chabi wala teeka laga dain. Lady Dr: ap k kitne bachay hn. Aorat: MASHALAH mere 11 bachay hn. Lady Dr: Phir to Talla hi lagwa lain.

December 22

Boy 2 Grl: Shadi K Liye Kon C Date Rakhain?

Girl: Hichkchate Huay.. 22 DEC

Boy: Koi Khas Wja?

Girl: Shrmatay Huay.. Suna Hai Saal Ki Sab Se Lmbi Raat Hoti Hai..

More Details

Khubsoorat Larki Doctor se:

Doctor,

main jub cigrette peeti hun to ajeeb becheni si hoti hai, mein pehla kash leti hun to apne shoes utar deti hun, dosre kash mein socks, teesray kash mein shirt utar deti hon or chotay mein.

Doctor: Ye lo G0LD LEAF or tafseel say batao.

Calcium

Teacher; Sabse zyada CALCIUM kis DOODH me hota hy?

Boy; 18 saal ki larki me.

Q k ispe MOO lagao to JISM k un hisson me b jaan aajati hy jin me HADDI nahi hoti.

Bandooq

Doctor to Old Man!

Baba ji Aapki Neeche Wali Dono Golian Nikaalni Paraingi..

Baba: Nikaal lo Beta.’!

Jab Bandooq hi Nahi Chalti tou goliyan kis kaam ki,