Show me your hardware!

Boy : Can i Touch your Software?
Girl : First show me your Hardware!
Boy : Should i install it in your System?
Girl: Cover it with Anti Virus & then install.

No Smoking

Sales girl: sory sir u cant smoke here

Customer: but i bought cigrete 4rm ur shop

sales girl: we sel condom also,but it doesn’t mean u start fucking us here.

Girl & Glasses

Teacher student se:

‘larki aur ainak mein kya cheez mushtrik hai….?

Student:

‘Sir, istamaal k waqt dono ki taangein kholni prhti hain..

Invented a new bra

A scientist has invented a new bra
which stops boobs from bouncing while running
&
doesn’t show nipples when wet.

DON’T PANIC
WE’VE KILLED THAT BASTARD

Police & Army

Police wala or fauji ek saath train me safar kr rahe thy.

Police: Ap chutti pe ja rahe he?

Fauji: Han wife ki delivry he.
Police: Kitne din baad ghr ja rahe ho?
Fauji: 2 saal baad.
Police: Phr to hone wala bacha harami hoga
Fauji: Mjhe konsa ghr rkhna hai police me bharti kr doon ga…

Twins

Do u Remember when we were on the train and i got my ass out of the window and you got your face out of the window too and the people said “LOOK..!! TWINS”

Lost panty

A Lady lost here panty in the home
She blamd Nukrani in front of her husband

Nukrani replied: Sahab G apko to pata hai main nichay kuch nai pehnti.

Do the Dew

ChAndA
Mou KhoLo
ThorA Or
Or
ThorA sA Or
Bus!
__
( ".)
< )_, - - .(." )
  LL          (  >
           DO THE DEW.

Nargis to Doctor

Nargis 2 doctor:My Hole Is 2 Big
DR Looks In Hole Says My Goodness,Goodness,Goodness.
Nargis:Y R U Repeting Words?
DR:Repeat Nahi kar raha,Awaz Goonj rahi ha ;-

Good Fucker

For years he thought
He was a Damn Good Fucker

But then

He found out

His wife actually had asthma

Shalwaari Saanp

‘Shalwaari-Saanp’
“Dunia ka 1 Khatarnak Saanp hy jis ka
-Rang White/brown/ black
-Aam lambai 4″ to 8″
-Jism Narm/Hard
-Temperature Garam
-Aam tor pr bed Rooms me ladies ki tangon k beech me kaat leta hy
-is ka zeher 9 maah tk pait ko suja deta hy
-iski Peshawari qism mardon ko b kaat’ti pakri gai hy

Mehboob Mere Remix

Mehboob Mere
Mehboob Mere
Teri Masti me
Muje Jeene day
Boht Doodh
( . ) ( . )  hai
  )   .  ( tere
(    ¥   )
seenay me
Muje Daba-Daba
Ke pene de..

After 6 Months

Three housewives were walking in a park.
They saw a dog fucking a bitch really hard there.

Doctor’s Wife: So sweet, now they will have cute puppies.

Lawyer’s Wife: No, this is a pure attempt of rape, and dog should b hanged.

Major’s Wife: Lagta hai k Kutta 6 maah baad ghar aya hai…

Man is Terrorist

For a woman every man is terrorist. 1st he attacks her twin towers: then destroys her pentagon and then puts missile in her bunker+ 2 grenades at the gat.

Your Friends

Man came home,
Saw his Wife with his Friend in Bed.
He shoots his Friend.
Wife says, if you behave like this,

You will lose all your friends